Tell Him your plans – He’ll laugh

Today I met up with Sr. Colleen – vocation director for the Salesian Sisters (also known as Daughters of Mary Help of Christians). *waves* Hi Sister!!

Before I get into the actual meeting part, I must say that God is very comical – or maybe I’m the one who is comical. I went into this meeting with “expectations”. Like Sr. was going to fall in love with me, have paperwork for me to sign, tell me to come visit sometime before August and BAM – I’m in!

Okay, maybe not that extreme.

Before we met we got the chance to talk on the phone for a bit the night before. We were originally supposed to meet for dinner but plans had to change and we decided to move it up to an early lunch. When talking to her on the phone I felt complete peace and no nervousness at all. It kinda felt surreal.

So we get to the restaurant today (Red Robin – YUM!) and again that sense of peace and calm was all consuming. I felt no anxiousness or nervousness at all. It kinda felt too good to be true.

And it almost kinda was.

See, I went in with expectations. And it’s never good to go into any kind of vocation possibility with expectations – often times they are unreal. After conversations with @britestack, I thought for sure that I was going to be able to enter this coming August. My bags were practically packed.

That won’t be the case. Maybe it will be for @britestack, but not for me. You see, I have debt. Roughly $20,000. And I don’t have a Bachelors degree in anything – both of those are hindrances. In order for me to be able to enter all my debt has to be gone. (Still unsure of if I need a BA in order to enter or not? Maybe someone can clarify that – Sr. Colleen or Ashley?)

I left that meeting feeling a bit discouraged. I had gotten my hopes up and started to expect certain things were going to happen. It wasn’t until way later on in the day while I was sitting with my friend Carol, that I realized something – life isn’t easy.

It took me all day long to figure that out. (Maybe I’m a bit slow??)

While talking things out with Carol, I came to realize some things.
1. I still have some work to do on me. Pride being one thing I need to start chiseling away.
2. Even though I’ve been searching and discerning and thinking about this for years, doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy road. Every vocation consists of hardships and it is not going to be easy.

Carol told me I needed to go sit with Jesus and just write. To which of course I fought. (Stubborn much?)
Finally I gave in and went in the church with my journal and pencil. And lo and behold she was right! (She usually is)
I sat there and heard over and over to TRUST. He knows the plans for me. I am on the right path but I need to TRUST.

Well then. Guess I can’t argue much with God!

So while I’m not as discouraged as I was when I first left Sr. Colleen, I’m hopeful. I know that God is leading me the way He wants me to go.

Now if only I can die to myself and trust Him fully. Maybe then we can get somewhere…

He is near

Image via CrunchBase

Last night I tweeted the following: when life feels like it’s spiraling out of control, it’s usually because God is doing some mighty work within you.

It’s easy for me to say while my life is moving along even keel at the moment and the spiraling is going on all around me instead of taking me along with it. Over the past couple of days, life has been crazy. Things have been happening within my youth group that have needed immediate attention and action. One could even sit back and say “what have we done wrong? why is this happening to us?” Surprisingly though, I’m not saying any of that. Even though the situation isn’t favorable and there is much needed cleanup work to be done, I can see God working through the entire situation.

Working with teenagers can prove to be hard at times. Teenagers are a difficult group to reach; you either reach them, or they shun you and try to make life difficult for themselves and the one who is trying to reach them with the truth. It takes a special person to be able to work with teenagers…to be able to understand, relate, and teach them at an age when so much of their life is driven by emotions and by what others think of them.

Working with teenagers, is also the biggest blessing I could ever ask for. God has used them in so many ways to teach me lessons. Even through all the drama, tears and frustration, God never ceases to have a lesson awaiting on the other side; whether it be for me or for one of the teens. Lately, He has been working on me a lot though.

It’s no secret that I’m addicted to facebook. I’m always on it and if I can’t be on the computer and really need to check it, I have the ability to do so on my phone. I kept telling myself that I needed to be “always available” to the teens in order to effectively minister to them. Because of my facebook presence, I do hear/read/see a lot of stuff that I wouldn’t necessarily know about without it…which is a blessing and a curse all in one. It’s also why I can’t give up texting as it’s their form of communication.

God though, has started to show me the damage that facebook can hold. The amount of information that people put out on there creates a breeding ground for gossip. I know I’m guilty of falling into the trap of “did you see what was posted on fb?” It wasn’t until this week that I started to realize the detriment that it causes to relationships…and it’s starting to leave a sour taste in my  mouth. Had you told me a week ago that I’d feel this way, I wouldn’t have believed you. God has certainly stirred my heart.

God is always near. Even in the midst of chaos. Even if you don’t feel Him around you. Even when you feel disconnected and lost. He is near. And through every valley and plain, He reaches out to you – to guide you, to teach you and most importantly – to love you.

 

National Vocation Awareness Week

Image via Wikipedia

Shame on me!

I totally forgot that this week is National Vocation Awareness week!

What is that? Well, it’s the one week in the year when the Catholic Church asks all to ponder what it is that God is asking for your life. Many Catholics think of the word vocation and think it means a call to priesthood or a call to a religious life.

That’s not the case at all.

We all have a vocation. A vocation is a calling from God…a direction in which He wants you to go in life. Majority of people have a vocation of marriage and family life. Others are called to be single and celibate. Rarely, you’ll find those who, like myself, feel the call to a religious life of some sort – whether it be the priesthood, becoming a religious sister or brother or monk or whatever.

The word vocation, comes from the Latin word “to call”. It’s a calling. God calls us to discern what direction He wants for our lives. A lot of people don’t bother with the discernment, and just do whatever they feel is “right” or “popular”. Unless you frequent Catholic circles, it’s a rarity to hear that someone is discerning a religious vocation.

Discerning a religious vocation is NOT a bad thing. Though society places a heavy emphasis on the vocation of marriage, that is not the only way to live in life. And while one can devote their lives to God while living out a vocation of marriage, one can do so even more in a religious vocation.

Religious vocations are looked at as sort of a taboo. It’s highly unusual and for those who are feeling called to a consecrated life – fully consecrated to Him and no other – there are often remarks of shock, disbelief, and often times lack of understanding. The world tries to tell you that it really isn’t something that you want. That it’s degrading and outdated and “no one ever does that anymore”.

If you feel you have a calling other than the societal norm, cultivate it. Spend time with people who are going to encourage you. Find some trusted Catholic friends who will be supportive and be excited for you. Whatever you do, don’t ignore God. I’ve made that mistake…and guess what…He will continue to gently nag you. You have a choice: you can listen and submit to what He’s asking of you, or you can fight it.

I can guarantee you though, that if you chose to fight it, you will also chose the harder path in life. You will always be searching for happiness…and more often than not…through the ways of the world.

If you know someone who is discerning religious life, don’t try to negate their thoughts/feelings…even if you don’t agree with them. Support them and love them right where they are at. We are all on a journey…our own journey…and just because someone elses journey doesn’t match yours, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or any less than.

If you have young children, or are around young children, don’t be afraid to foster the thought of considering God’s will. We are all called to something…to be something…to do something with our lives…and the only way to know is to spend time with Him. You can’t have a relationship with someone if you don’t spend time with them. You can’t fall in love with someone if you don’t have communication.

Have you talked to God about your plans for your life lately?

Do they match His plans?

Dear Mama

As you well know, it’s that time of year again. The time where we celebrate the birth of your beloved child. We hear the story over and over, and people often stop to ask: “did you know what God’s plans were? Did you know that one day your Son would save us all and die for us?”

I can’t help but wonder why people are asking that. You’re not God. Of course you didn’t know…it’s like asking a mother of a convicted murderer if she knew her son would grow up killing people…it’s a silly question. Only God holds all the answers, and we as humans don’t learn them until they play out in our lives.

Mama, I want so much to be like you. Your willingness to say yes to God…without much hesitation. I’m sure you were scared of what was to come. I’m sure you were anxious about how Joseph would take the news. Yet you said yes anyway…completely trusting in your faith in God…and knowing that He’d take care of it.

I want that trust. That total abandonment. I want to be able to just say yes to God without giving it a second thought, as I have so many times on this journey. I want to be able to trust God with all of my life’s struggles and events…knowing that He will take care of it all in the end.

I need more trust. I need more surrendering. I ask for your prayers in this issue. You have such a special connection with your Son…you are His mother…and I know that He wants to please His mother and that anything that you ask of Him will be granted.

Thank you for saying yes to God. Thank you for bringing us our Savior…your Son. And thank you for being an example of faith to so many. I am blessed to call you my Mama!

Blessing of the day

Today has been crazy. Crazy at work, crazy physically, crazy mentally…even my possessions are crazed today.

The amazing part of it all? The blessing I get to receive tonight.

I’ve started a bible study and catechism study. Typically I start it at work…shortly after my friend Hollie leaves for the night. Any other day I would be upset and forcing it to happen (distractedly) while at work, just to “get it done”. Today though, is Wednesday. On Wednesday’s I have choir rehearsal…which means that right after work I head up to the church. I usually sit around for about 45 minutes or so reading or just relaxing (as it makes no sense for me to go home since I live a half hour away from the church). Tonight though, I get to do my bible study in our perpetual adoration chapel.

Physically, mentally, and visually in Jesus’ presence. What a blessing!

I’m looking forward to see what He has to say to me tonight. .

P.S. Just as I published this post my boss called me…telling me to stay late if we get busy. I must have something big coming my way tonight!

Finding God

Life is busy.

The world we live in is one of constant go go go. Never to stop and rest.

I find myself always so busy, that when I do have time to just rest, I’m unsettled…I don’t know what to do with myself…I don’t know how to settle myself down and just be.

It’s really hard to quite yourself before God. With all the demands of the world, how does one sit and just clear their mind? How does one just learn how to be?

I don’t have an answer. I do know that God shows up, even in the busy-ness of life. There have been many times where I am on the move, and suddenly I get a glimpse of Him…whether it be through someone else, through something I heard, or something I saw.

He is always around. Always nearby. Always just a prayer away.

While the best time to really hear what God is trying to tell you is in the silence, sometimes he’ll even talk to you in the bustle of life.

Are you listening?