In the spirit of the new year and trying to better myself and my relationship with God, I made a spur of the moment decision last night.
I started a bible study on Revelations.
At my old church.
My friend Dina had a starring role in all this – she is the one running the bible study and convinced me to come knowing we’d get to see each other every week for the next 10.
Whatever gets me there right?
Except as I was there, I felt such sadness. Sitting in that classroom where I used to teach religious education – two seats away from the person who has caused me to have to leave the church.
It still is a difficult process. Tying up loose ends at that church all the while, grieving relationships that have changed. I don’t do well with change that I have no control over!
During the next 10 weeks, I’m sure to come out of this bible study with a new appreciation of God, the bible, but also come to terms with the situation that I am currently going through. I will be okay. I will make it through this. It just takes time – and lots of time with God.
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“I don’t do well with change that I have no control over!” – This will make religious life very, very difficult, since most of our assignments are given to us by God through our Superiors, and we have no control over them! It may be God’s way of helping you to begin to accustom yourself to obedience…
It must be really tough to sit somewhere you’ve once “been” while being somewhere else. Does that make sense? I say … do what is comfortable for you. Do what you think is right for you.